Im a Mom to a four year old and you know what is the most common question I get asked?
“When are you having another?”
Why people feel this question can be so easily asked without any repercussions is beyond me. Maybe I don’t want another one. Maybe I CANT have another one. Maybe I just had a miscarriage. Maybe I am trying to have another one and the fact that it hasn’t happened yet is stressing me out beyond belief. To answer your question my real answer is the last one .. I want another baby so bad and we are trying to have one. But honestly its not as easy to find the time to try and “make a baby” as it used to be. Not only are we adults with jobs and house chores and family functions, but we also have a child now so that consists of park days and play dates and just being with our child. There are four days a month when a child is able to be conceived and those four days have never been so stressful. Then Ill hear “you need to just relax” and “stop counting and stop stressing about it” , it will happen when it happens. Like okay there Jane obviously I know stressing about it wont help my cause but its all I can do to just not think about it . All my friends are either having their first babies now or even better getting pregnant and having their seconds. I have all these first birthday parties to go to where there are even younger babies and newborn babies and everyone knows how much I LOVE babies so they ask me if I want to hold them which of course I do but then it fills my heart with love for this baby and for my friend who just had this beautiful little human being but then i also get this gut wrenching pain of wondering why I haven’t been this lucky as to have another little beautiful baby of my own that we are so wanting yet.
So back to the topic “When are you having another baby?” My new response is “Well if I get pregnant today probably in about 9 months” because you have NO idea how much that question can cause someone so many god damn emotions and you were just sitting there looking at me with my now FOUR YEAR OLD and thought “well there is no harm in asking right?” Let me inform you YES there can be a harm in asking.
Fertility is nothing short of a sore spot and emotional filled journey for so many mothers and fathers that guess what ! If we wanted to talk about having another baby with you right in this very second we would tell you.
Regardless I am one HAPPY and THANKFUL mother and wife to my beautiful family that because I feel this way I want another little beautiful baby to be a mommy to and to raise with my amazing man who is the absolute best daddy I could of ever wanted for my children. I am a Mom, and becoming a Mom was the best thing that could of ever happened in my life to give my life a REAL purpose and meaning. I am not done being a mommy. This is something I know with my whole soul that one day I will have another little baby in my arms and these feelings will all soon fade and maybe I wont be so sensitive to the subject. But until that day comes, remember before you ask someone “When are you having another” OR “When are you having a baby” just know you have no idea what you are really asking.
Happy Hump Day to all you beautiful people ! Today is my Friday, I get a four day weekend so I am feeling so super blessed and excited for a busy weekend with my better half. Stay blessed and thankful for everything in your life and remember that everything you want and need in life WILL happen.